i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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