Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
