I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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