ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
