So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
