so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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