Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
