I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
