Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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