Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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