i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Success! We fucked roommates!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
