i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
