Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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