So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
