i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
