I look better un-naked...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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