I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
