if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
