p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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