Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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