My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
