i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
