Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
