i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
