Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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