Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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