idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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