Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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