why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
