This girl is more easily done than said...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
