like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
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Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize