just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
