is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
So many bounce houses so little time
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
