you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My life is pants optional.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize