AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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