Your mouth is God's brothel.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
