He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just cropdusted the office
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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