stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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