I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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