I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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