Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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