new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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