Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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