We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
