So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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