he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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