oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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