she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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