In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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