that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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