so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
