I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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