I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
