I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
