dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
