I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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