I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize