White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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