chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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