I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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