Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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