Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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