She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
