I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
