i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
