just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
