I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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