I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
