alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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