Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
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