So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
