Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
